Bubblegum Forever

When you're casually walking anywhere as a pedestrian these days, if you glance at the pavement you'll probably see quite a lot of roughly circular white or discoloured splodges about the place.

What are these then? There are loads everywhere. They're on pavements, train platforms, lamp posts, old women's legs, everywhere ! Where are they coming from?

Well... they're spat out bits of bubble or chewing gum aren't they. Attractive. Lovely. Or to put it more accurately, 'Completely disgusting!'

We were taught as kids not to swallow bubblegum so what do people do? That's right, just spit it out onto the street. People do not seem to be able to just wrap the used gum into a piece of paper and put it in the nearest bin. Oh no, that's way too difficult. Out onto the pavement it goes.

I think we should draw a line. I think we should employ special wardens to combat this gross behaviour. Bubblegum Wardens. When they notice someone releasing their used and disgusting gum, they should hit them over the head with a Cricket Bat. TWACK! Firm, but fair. It's the only way they'll learn... possibly.

Bubblegum was invented in 1928 and people have been spitting it out ever since. The vast majority of bubble and chewing gum does not biodegrade. It stays there... forever. After 50 years we should place a blue Commemorative plaque on some of the splodges. "Here sits a diseased riddled gum glob, spat out by a fat bloke in 1942. Visit out gift shop."

At some point in the future Nike and others will invent special expensive shoes specifically designed for walking on bubblegum. Trains will be adapted to hover over it all for fear of getting stuck... although it probably won't improve the service.

Long after the Human-race has gone, when Aliens finally discover this planet, they will find a sticky world completely coated in bubblegum. If they're into Text speak, they will say WTF!

The World is doomed. Not by Nuclear fallout or global warming, but by bubblegum.