Can I Help you? NO! BUGGER OFF !

I've never been a big one for clothes shopping in real life bricks & mortar physical stores. I've always found it a lot easier to use the Internet. Don't know why. It's just a habit I've fallen into.

After again venturing into proper shops, I now absolutely know why. It's the bloody Sales assistants! Bloody! Bloody Bloody!

Now admittedly when clothes shopping, I'm not the most patient of people in the world. I just like to be left on my own to get on with it. I roughly know what I'm looking for. If I see it, I get it and I'm gone. Pazam ! (Think I stole that word from a sixties Batman fight. Don't sue).

Anyway, I go into my local Next store looking for work shirts. I'm 37 years old so by now I absolutely know my correct size. There's no question. I've cast it to memory. Like my name. Melanie Flagpole. Some young male shop assistant with a hair style like a drugged up out-of-control Yucca plant asks me, "Can I help you?". That's fine. That's polite. I answer, "No thanks, I'm just looking at shirts". There it ended right? He buggered off. Nope! He hovered on my shoulder like some annoying wasp. Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzz.

"A slim fit would probably best fit you".

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"Why don't you try one on?"

Bzzzzz. Bzzz. Bzzzz.

"No, I'm ok," I answered, "I'm in a bit of a hurry".

Bzzzz. Bzzzzzzzz. "A Tailored fit is always good".

I left the shop and ordered them over the Internet instead. If I ever go to a clothes shop again, I'm taking Pepper Spray with me... and a cricket bat.

Now I appreciate, that young chap may have been getting a percentage commission on items sold, but come on, some industries shouldn't employ this. It's just hassle. What next? A Lollipop Lady paid on the amount of people she gets across the road? "Cross over yer Bastards!"

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